1 00:00:05,673 --> 00:00:08,042 CARTER: Seriously, you don't want to miss this! 2 00:00:08,142 --> 00:00:13,013 Seven kegs, two dozen boxes of Roman candles, 3 00:00:13,114 --> 00:00:15,116 one human slingshot. 4 00:00:15,216 --> 00:00:18,886 We are talking about the kegger of the century here. 5 00:00:18,986 --> 00:00:20,321 Stop taunting us, Carter. 6 00:00:20,421 --> 00:00:21,389 We want to go! 7 00:00:21,489 --> 00:00:22,856 But, we promised our folks we'd 8 00:00:22,956 --> 00:00:25,359 go on one final camping trip. 9 00:00:25,459 --> 00:00:28,496 The stars are aligned, my friends. 10 00:00:28,596 --> 00:00:29,697 Check it out. 11 00:00:29,797 --> 00:00:33,000 Your campsite is here, Twig Wilderness Park. 12 00:00:33,101 --> 00:00:35,936 The party is at Garland Point, the northern tip. 13 00:00:36,036 --> 00:00:39,740 It's like a two, three beer walk, tops. 14 00:00:39,840 --> 00:00:41,142 Why are you only looking at her, not me? 15 00:00:41,242 --> 00:00:43,111 'Cause she makes all the decisions. 16 00:00:43,211 --> 00:00:44,245 That is not true. 17 00:00:44,345 --> 00:00:46,046 OK, quick, what are you wearing? 18 00:00:46,147 --> 00:00:48,416 Cargo pants, and my I'm with stupid t-shirt. 19 00:00:48,516 --> 00:00:49,983 Oh, no, sweetie, we agreed that 20 00:00:50,084 --> 00:00:51,819 t-shirt's wildly inaccurate, and plaid 21 00:00:51,919 --> 00:00:54,088 goes better with your jeans. 22 00:00:54,188 --> 00:00:55,723 So Jessie makes a few decisions. 23 00:00:55,823 --> 00:00:57,691 We like it that way. 24 00:00:57,791 --> 00:01:00,994 And who made that decision? 25 00:01:01,095 --> 00:01:04,198 PHIL: I still can't believe you guys are coming along. 26 00:01:04,298 --> 00:01:05,566 Camping used to be our favorite family 27 00:01:05,666 --> 00:01:08,136 activity until-- 28 00:01:08,236 --> 00:01:09,403 Until what? 29 00:01:09,503 --> 00:01:11,972 You got lost, someone died, you had to eat them. 30 00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:13,607 We've all been there. 31 00:01:13,707 --> 00:01:16,377 I think it's best if we concentrate on maintaining 32 00:01:16,477 --> 00:01:18,846 a small perimeter, and interact with nature as little 33 00:01:18,946 --> 00:01:19,913 as possible. 34 00:01:20,013 --> 00:01:21,882 Well, if that's your idea of camping, 35 00:01:21,982 --> 00:01:23,551 then maybe we should just stay home. 36 00:01:23,651 --> 00:01:25,319 Ben already put a deposit on the camper. 37 00:01:25,419 --> 00:01:26,420 Camper? 38 00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:27,621 This is supposed to be about roughing it. 39 00:01:27,721 --> 00:01:29,423 It's just a small upgrade. 40 00:01:29,523 --> 00:01:30,324 [horn honks] 41 00:01:30,424 --> 00:01:31,292 [ben laughs] 42 00:01:32,293 --> 00:01:33,127 Oh, whoa. 43 00:01:33,227 --> 00:01:34,695 BEN: Nature, here we come. 44 00:01:34,795 --> 00:01:37,398 You can't expect me to carpool with this. 45 00:01:37,498 --> 00:01:38,632 Watch. 46 00:01:38,732 --> 00:01:42,136 You tuck your car inside, Phil. 47 00:01:42,236 --> 00:01:44,472 What do you think, honey? 48 00:01:44,572 --> 00:01:46,340 It's a fortress on wheels. 49 00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:47,375 Perfect. 50 00:01:47,475 --> 00:01:48,276 Wow. 51 00:01:48,376 --> 00:01:49,643 Hey, Jess. 52 00:01:49,743 --> 00:01:52,045 So, how many veggie burgers does Tom want for the weekend? 53 00:01:52,146 --> 00:01:53,046 I am right here. 54 00:01:53,147 --> 00:01:54,315 Three for Tom, one for me. 55 00:01:54,415 --> 00:01:56,884 OK, thanks. 56 00:01:56,984 --> 00:01:59,287 Are you at least in charge of the condiments? 57 00:02:02,856 --> 00:02:04,725 [THEME - HAWKSLEY WORKMAN AND DOLLY, "YES I DO"] 58 00:02:04,825 --> 00:02:10,164 THEME SONG: Can't we find a way that we could be together? 59 00:02:10,264 --> 00:02:15,102 Is there any way that we could be together? 60 00:02:15,203 --> 00:02:19,540 And, oh, by the way, baby, tell me you love me. 61 00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:24,478 Yes, I do, yes, I do, yes, I do. 62 00:02:24,578 --> 00:02:25,479 Yes, I do. 63 00:02:31,985 --> 00:02:35,856 [cheerful music] 64 00:02:40,060 --> 00:02:41,529 Hey there, who wants a Campaccino? 65 00:02:41,629 --> 00:02:42,430 Huh? 66 00:02:42,530 --> 00:02:44,398 For heaven's sakes, Ben. 67 00:02:44,498 --> 00:02:45,466 We're not savages. 68 00:02:45,566 --> 00:02:47,268 Nope. 69 00:02:47,368 --> 00:02:49,370 Well, you can't get away from it all 70 00:02:49,470 --> 00:02:51,539 if you take it all with you, Judith. 71 00:02:51,639 --> 00:02:55,276 Well, we find life's little luxuries are magnified 72 00:02:55,376 --> 00:02:56,777 in the great outdoors. 73 00:02:56,877 --> 00:02:57,978 Life's little annoyances, too. 74 00:02:58,078 --> 00:02:58,879 Yeah. 75 00:02:58,979 --> 00:02:59,947 I heard that, Phil. 76 00:03:00,047 --> 00:03:01,682 Oh, china. 77 00:03:01,782 --> 00:03:02,983 Oh. 78 00:03:03,083 --> 00:03:05,085 You know what Carter said about you 79 00:03:05,185 --> 00:03:06,454 making all the decisions? 80 00:03:06,554 --> 00:03:07,621 Not all. 81 00:03:07,721 --> 00:03:09,323 85, 90%. 82 00:03:09,423 --> 00:03:12,526 Well, I say for the rest of this trip, we trade. 83 00:03:12,626 --> 00:03:14,362 But I love when we play to our strengths, 84 00:03:14,462 --> 00:03:17,331 and decision making hasn't always been yours, no offense. 85 00:03:17,431 --> 00:03:19,099 [sputters] 86 00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:21,702 So how's the campfire coffee there, Phil? 87 00:03:21,802 --> 00:03:22,903 PHIL: Ha! 88 00:03:23,003 --> 00:03:26,507 I say we ditch this place and go find the kegger. 89 00:03:26,607 --> 00:03:29,977 I stand corrected. 90 00:03:30,077 --> 00:03:33,213 TOM: By the time we get back, they'll be getting along great. 91 00:03:33,314 --> 00:03:35,549 Yeah, or they'll have killed each other. 92 00:03:35,649 --> 00:03:37,385 Well, at least it'll be quieter. 93 00:03:37,485 --> 00:03:39,820 And we'll be getting back with a brand new skill set. 94 00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:42,623 You, with an easy-going, go with the flow attitude. 95 00:03:42,723 --> 00:03:44,858 And a straightforward sense of confidence and leadership 96 00:03:44,958 --> 00:03:45,859 for you. - Yeah. 97 00:03:45,959 --> 00:03:46,760 [laughs] 98 00:03:46,860 --> 00:03:48,362 [animal calls] 99 00:03:50,964 --> 00:03:53,701 OK I'm not trying to take over here, 100 00:03:53,801 --> 00:03:57,305 but I do think you should have this. 101 00:03:57,405 --> 00:04:00,741 You realize by handing me that compass, you're taking over. 102 00:04:00,841 --> 00:04:01,642 But-- 103 00:04:01,742 --> 00:04:02,543 Sorry. 104 00:04:02,643 --> 00:04:05,346 Well, give-- 105 00:04:05,446 --> 00:04:07,381 But, of course I'm gonna need the compass 106 00:04:07,481 --> 00:04:10,250 if I'm going to take over. 107 00:04:10,351 --> 00:04:11,151 Oh. 108 00:04:16,690 --> 00:04:17,791 Give up already? 109 00:04:17,891 --> 00:04:21,128 Jessie's the only one who likes campfire coffee. 110 00:04:21,228 --> 00:04:23,364 Or, maybe that's why she bailed. 111 00:04:23,464 --> 00:04:25,899 I don't know why we're even here 112 00:04:25,999 --> 00:04:27,401 now that the kids are gone. 113 00:04:27,501 --> 00:04:29,370 You can't really blame them for wanting 114 00:04:29,470 --> 00:04:32,973 to have a romantic night away from their parents. 115 00:04:33,073 --> 00:04:35,309 I should have never done this again, especially 116 00:04:35,409 --> 00:04:36,209 after what happened last-- 117 00:04:36,310 --> 00:04:37,177 Judith! 118 00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:38,612 Did you not promise if I rented you 119 00:04:38,712 --> 00:04:40,147 the biggest RV on the market that you would 120 00:04:40,247 --> 00:04:41,849 never bring that up again? 121 00:04:41,949 --> 00:04:43,150 What happened the last time? 122 00:04:43,250 --> 00:04:46,253 Let's just say nature lost. 123 00:04:46,354 --> 00:04:48,756 What gets me is, this is probably our last family trip. 124 00:04:48,856 --> 00:04:50,591 The kids won't be living in your attic forever. 125 00:04:50,691 --> 00:04:52,393 Oh, don't overestimate Tom. 126 00:04:52,493 --> 00:04:55,829 All right, I say we make the best of this. 127 00:04:55,929 --> 00:04:57,598 Come on, Judith, how about a hike? 128 00:04:57,698 --> 00:04:58,499 Get some fresh air? 129 00:04:58,599 --> 00:04:59,700 What do you say? 130 00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:01,769 Let's just turn up the AC. 131 00:05:01,869 --> 00:05:03,404 Not an option. 132 00:05:03,504 --> 00:05:04,738 Come on, get up. 133 00:05:04,838 --> 00:05:05,639 Come on. 134 00:05:05,739 --> 00:05:08,409 Come on. 135 00:05:08,509 --> 00:05:10,711 Look, this is a lost cause. 136 00:05:10,811 --> 00:05:13,280 Oh, got it! 137 00:05:13,381 --> 00:05:14,582 Good work, Jess. 138 00:05:14,682 --> 00:05:16,149 All right, let's get going. 139 00:05:16,249 --> 00:05:17,084 Wait. 140 00:05:17,184 --> 00:05:19,420 Magnetic north is no longer fixed. 141 00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:21,188 Well, that's OK, we're not going north. 142 00:05:21,288 --> 00:05:22,490 Yeah, we are. 143 00:05:22,590 --> 00:05:24,558 And given that moss grows on the north side of trees, 144 00:05:24,658 --> 00:05:26,660 it's that way. 145 00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:29,196 So you're in charge again. 146 00:05:29,296 --> 00:05:30,297 No. 147 00:05:30,398 --> 00:05:31,665 I'm not. 148 00:05:31,765 --> 00:05:33,667 I broke the compass, I'm just trying to fix what I broke. 149 00:05:33,767 --> 00:05:35,168 It's OK. 150 00:05:35,268 --> 00:05:37,438 Old habits are hard to break, although ours, technically, 151 00:05:37,538 --> 00:05:39,607 aren't even that old. 152 00:05:39,707 --> 00:05:41,375 That's north. 153 00:05:41,475 --> 00:05:42,275 [jessie sighs] 154 00:05:42,376 --> 00:05:45,479 Oh, the bog ate my shoes. 155 00:05:45,579 --> 00:05:46,947 CARTER: Come on, the kegger awaits. 156 00:05:49,750 --> 00:05:54,788 Ah, nothing beats a veggie dog blackened over an open fire. 157 00:05:54,888 --> 00:05:57,090 When did blackened become the new burned? 158 00:05:57,190 --> 00:05:59,627 Nature unplugged offers its own kind of high. 159 00:05:59,727 --> 00:06:00,761 You just don't get it. 160 00:06:00,861 --> 00:06:03,263 You have to be high to get charred tofu, Phil. 161 00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:04,498 Come with me. 162 00:06:04,598 --> 00:06:05,699 I think you'll find nature plugged 163 00:06:05,799 --> 00:06:07,568 in has its own unique mystique. 164 00:06:07,668 --> 00:06:09,169 I can't leave my dogs unattended. 165 00:06:09,269 --> 00:06:10,738 They've ignited every time. 166 00:06:10,838 --> 00:06:12,540 Unattended would be an improvement. 167 00:06:12,640 --> 00:06:13,441 Come on. 168 00:06:13,541 --> 00:06:14,341 Yeah. 169 00:06:17,277 --> 00:06:19,279 That is ridiculous. 170 00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:21,649 Why don't you just use a stick? 171 00:06:21,749 --> 00:06:23,484 I thought you'd want the sticks preserved 172 00:06:23,584 --> 00:06:26,086 in their natural habitat. 173 00:06:26,186 --> 00:06:28,589 And RV's should stay in theirs. 174 00:06:28,689 --> 00:06:31,759 Packed like sardines on the freeway. 175 00:06:31,859 --> 00:06:33,894 The motor-home is excessive for a wilderness park, 176 00:06:33,994 --> 00:06:38,265 I grant you, but I wanted to put a buffer between us and nature. 177 00:06:38,365 --> 00:06:41,101 Oh, my God. 178 00:06:41,201 --> 00:06:47,741 Why would anyone want a buffer from a sight like that? 179 00:06:47,841 --> 00:06:50,177 JUDITH: Oh, no. 180 00:06:50,277 --> 00:06:51,879 [MUSIC - LEWIS LAMEDICA, "LET'S BLOW IT ALL"] Hey, 181 00:06:51,979 --> 00:06:53,080 little honey, I've got-- 182 00:06:53,180 --> 00:06:55,449 See, Phil, the turning speed simulates the flavor 183 00:06:55,549 --> 00:06:56,884 profile of a campfire. 184 00:06:56,984 --> 00:07:00,287 And the meat simulates heaven. 185 00:07:00,387 --> 00:07:01,221 [whistles] 186 00:07:01,321 --> 00:07:02,456 Yeah I know. 187 00:07:02,556 --> 00:07:05,459 This baby's a little extreme for the bush, isn't it? 188 00:07:05,559 --> 00:07:07,260 I wanted Judith to relax, and the six 189 00:07:07,360 --> 00:07:09,597 speaker sound system, and ice maker, and Wolf range 190 00:07:09,697 --> 00:07:11,732 didn't hurt. 191 00:07:11,832 --> 00:07:13,501 She deserves it after what happened last time. 192 00:07:13,601 --> 00:07:14,935 And what the hell happened? 193 00:07:15,035 --> 00:07:16,203 Let's just say nothing that won't 194 00:07:16,303 --> 00:07:19,039 be forgotten after a new and successful camping 195 00:07:19,139 --> 00:07:20,340 sojourn, hmm? 196 00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:21,241 [glasses clink] 197 00:07:21,341 --> 00:07:22,610 Hmm. 198 00:07:22,710 --> 00:07:24,144 TARA: Judith, come on. 199 00:07:24,244 --> 00:07:26,179 You can't run away from this forever. 200 00:07:26,279 --> 00:07:27,080 Run? 201 00:07:27,180 --> 00:07:28,549 No, power walk, maybe. 202 00:07:28,649 --> 00:07:30,918 OK, just stop, stop, please. 203 00:07:31,018 --> 00:07:33,386 What happened last time you went camping? 204 00:07:33,487 --> 00:07:34,722 [judith sighs] 205 00:07:36,990 --> 00:07:41,394 OK, it was, um, five years ago. 206 00:07:41,495 --> 00:07:44,598 The whole family came, even Monica. 207 00:07:44,698 --> 00:07:45,733 Monica Monica? 208 00:07:45,833 --> 00:07:47,267 Yeah, we knew if we left her alone again, 209 00:07:47,367 --> 00:07:48,802 she'd try to sell the house. 210 00:07:48,902 --> 00:07:55,208 Anyway, um, this gorgeous deer wandered into the camp. 211 00:07:55,308 --> 00:07:57,678 Walked right up to us. 212 00:07:57,778 --> 00:07:59,312 Even ate berries from Ben's hand. 213 00:07:59,412 --> 00:08:01,214 Well, that sounds magical. 214 00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:03,150 It was. 215 00:08:03,250 --> 00:08:07,020 Until this heavy metal cooler Ben had hoisted in a tree 216 00:08:07,120 --> 00:08:11,692 to bear proof the camp site crashed down on its head. 217 00:08:11,792 --> 00:08:12,860 Oh, my God. 218 00:08:12,960 --> 00:08:13,761 Dead? 219 00:08:13,861 --> 00:08:15,162 Oh. 220 00:08:15,262 --> 00:08:17,297 The whole family was traumatized. 221 00:08:17,397 --> 00:08:18,498 Tom was bawling. 222 00:08:18,599 --> 00:08:19,933 Monica didn't even laugh at him. 223 00:08:20,033 --> 00:08:21,134 That is horrible. 224 00:08:21,234 --> 00:08:22,035 That poor animal. 225 00:08:22,135 --> 00:08:23,904 It haunted me for years. 226 00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:26,073 I haven't been able to watch "Bambi" or "Reindeer Games" 227 00:08:26,173 --> 00:08:26,974 since. 228 00:08:27,074 --> 00:08:28,375 "Bambi" I understand. 229 00:08:28,475 --> 00:08:30,811 The "Reindeer Games" didn't have any animals in it. 230 00:08:30,911 --> 00:08:32,345 No, I know, it's just a horrible movie. 231 00:08:35,949 --> 00:08:37,918 What's in a tofu dog, anyway? 232 00:08:38,018 --> 00:08:40,153 Flies. 233 00:08:40,253 --> 00:08:42,055 Whereas here, we have cow. 234 00:08:42,155 --> 00:08:43,991 And sheep, goats, raccoons. 235 00:08:47,227 --> 00:08:48,028 Deer. 236 00:08:48,128 --> 00:08:49,162 Probably. 237 00:08:49,262 --> 00:08:52,232 No, no, no, no, no, by your campfire, a deer. 238 00:08:52,332 --> 00:08:53,533 Look. 239 00:08:53,634 --> 00:08:56,236 My God, look at him. 240 00:08:56,336 --> 00:08:57,738 I gotta get a picture of this. 241 00:08:57,838 --> 00:08:59,006 Just enjoy the moment, dude. 242 00:08:59,106 --> 00:09:00,507 A picture won't do it any justice. 243 00:09:00,608 --> 00:09:01,709 Come on, help me find my camera. 244 00:09:01,809 --> 00:09:03,811 It's around here somewhere. 245 00:09:03,911 --> 00:09:05,646 OK. 246 00:09:05,746 --> 00:09:07,547 Judith, you have to know that what happened 247 00:09:07,648 --> 00:09:09,516 to that deer was an accident. 248 00:09:09,617 --> 00:09:10,417 You don't understand. 249 00:09:10,517 --> 00:09:12,886 The Bellows kill nature. 250 00:09:12,986 --> 00:09:15,823 First time we went camping, Ben ran over a possum. 251 00:09:15,923 --> 00:09:17,858 OK, that's not a big deal. 252 00:09:17,958 --> 00:09:19,392 He was jogging. 253 00:09:19,492 --> 00:09:21,561 He literally ran over it. 254 00:09:21,662 --> 00:09:23,063 Then there was the time I hammered a tent 255 00:09:23,163 --> 00:09:24,698 peg into a groundhog burrow. 256 00:09:24,798 --> 00:09:26,033 Uh-huh. 257 00:09:26,133 --> 00:09:29,670 It was like the "Passion of the Christ", but with fur. 258 00:09:29,770 --> 00:09:31,338 No, we're cursed. 259 00:09:31,438 --> 00:09:32,940 Cursed to be nature killers. 260 00:09:33,040 --> 00:09:35,175 [playful music] 261 00:09:36,176 --> 00:09:37,210 TOM: How you doing back there? 262 00:09:37,310 --> 00:09:39,179 JESSIE: What I'm lacking in footwear I'm making 263 00:09:39,279 --> 00:09:40,580 up for in total surrender. 264 00:09:40,681 --> 00:09:42,650 I feel like the weight of the world is off my shoulders. 265 00:09:42,750 --> 00:09:45,853 Yeah, you know, I've never felt so focused. 266 00:09:45,953 --> 00:09:48,388 I think I finally have a sense of direction. 267 00:09:48,488 --> 00:09:50,791 Good, because I could really get used to this freedom. 268 00:09:50,891 --> 00:09:52,760 Yeah, I could get used to this power. 269 00:09:52,860 --> 00:09:54,995 I feel so leaderly. 270 00:09:55,095 --> 00:09:57,230 Um, Tom? 271 00:09:57,330 --> 00:09:59,599 Yeah, It's a real word, Jess. 272 00:09:59,700 --> 00:10:00,600 I just decided. 273 00:10:00,701 --> 00:10:01,869 Bang. 274 00:10:01,969 --> 00:10:03,536 Speaking of bang, I don't want to second guess you, 275 00:10:03,637 --> 00:10:06,539 but I think this is some kind of sign. 276 00:10:06,640 --> 00:10:08,341 [gunshot rings] 277 00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:09,476 Oh, what do we do now? 278 00:10:09,576 --> 00:10:10,377 Run! 279 00:10:16,383 --> 00:10:19,219 [chuckles] 280 00:10:19,319 --> 00:10:20,387 Found it. 281 00:10:20,487 --> 00:10:21,755 Perfect. Come on. 282 00:10:21,855 --> 00:10:23,356 Get a picture of this thing before it takes off. 283 00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:26,359 All right, relax, he's not going anywhere. 284 00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:28,461 He's into the two dozen veggie dogs I left by the-- 285 00:10:28,561 --> 00:10:29,162 [grunt] [thud] 286 00:10:29,262 --> 00:10:31,665 What was that sound? 287 00:10:31,765 --> 00:10:33,166 It sounded like a groan, but louder. 288 00:10:33,266 --> 00:10:36,169 PHIL: Oh, maybe it was a-- 289 00:10:36,269 --> 00:10:37,637 Oh, crap. 290 00:10:42,509 --> 00:10:44,144 The Bellow curse lives on. 291 00:10:47,848 --> 00:10:49,116 You still want me to take that picture? 292 00:10:53,386 --> 00:10:55,155 [camera shutter clicks] 293 00:10:55,255 --> 00:10:57,991 Judith cannot see this deer. 294 00:10:58,091 --> 00:10:59,026 [groans] 295 00:10:59,126 --> 00:11:01,261 I knew those veggie dogs were killers. 296 00:11:01,361 --> 00:11:03,263 Oh, who knows what did this beast in. 297 00:11:03,363 --> 00:11:06,700 Tofu dogs, deer flies, low socioeconomic status. 298 00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:08,268 How do we explain the missing tent? 299 00:11:08,368 --> 00:11:10,503 I'll tell Tara it blew away, and then you 300 00:11:10,603 --> 00:11:11,571 can bunk in our RV. 301 00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:13,006 If we don't keep this thing under wraps, 302 00:11:13,106 --> 00:11:15,108 next thing we'll have is bears. 303 00:11:15,208 --> 00:11:16,009 OK. 304 00:11:16,109 --> 00:11:16,910 [groans] 305 00:11:17,010 --> 00:11:19,012 This should be far enough. 306 00:11:19,112 --> 00:11:21,248 [pants] 307 00:11:21,348 --> 00:11:22,883 Oh, crap. 308 00:11:22,983 --> 00:11:27,220 Here, take that. 309 00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:28,889 Electronic monitoring bracelet? 310 00:11:28,989 --> 00:11:30,223 No way, dude, these things chafe. 311 00:11:30,323 --> 00:11:31,558 It's a tracking device. 312 00:11:31,658 --> 00:11:33,927 The last thing we need is a park ranger down our backs. 313 00:11:34,027 --> 00:11:35,829 Then we'd have to kill him, too. 314 00:11:35,929 --> 00:11:37,965 Hey, look, run into the woods as far as you can and toss it. 315 00:11:38,065 --> 00:11:39,066 Can you handle that? 316 00:11:39,166 --> 00:11:40,834 - Does a bear crap in the woods? - Good man. 317 00:11:40,934 --> 00:11:41,802 No, I mean it. 318 00:11:41,902 --> 00:11:45,205 I'd hate to run into a crapping bear. 319 00:11:45,305 --> 00:11:46,907 OK, too soon to joke. 320 00:11:47,007 --> 00:11:49,743 I get it. 321 00:11:49,843 --> 00:11:51,745 JESSIE: I think that's far enough. 322 00:11:51,845 --> 00:11:52,846 I almost got us killed. 323 00:11:52,946 --> 00:11:53,747 It's OK. 324 00:11:53,847 --> 00:11:55,849 It was your first shot, Tom. 325 00:11:55,949 --> 00:11:57,117 Bad choice of words. 326 00:11:57,217 --> 00:12:00,220 Point is, great leaders learn from their mistakes. 327 00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:04,091 JFK, Winston Churchill, Napoleon! 328 00:12:04,191 --> 00:12:06,026 Napoleon's a flavor of ice cream. 329 00:12:06,126 --> 00:12:10,397 Actually, it's three flavors, and it's Neapolitan, but-- 330 00:12:10,497 --> 00:12:11,899 Great leaders take responsibility, 331 00:12:11,999 --> 00:12:14,001 and then they move on. 332 00:12:14,101 --> 00:12:17,370 If they can find their way in the woods, that is. 333 00:12:17,470 --> 00:12:18,671 Don't worry about it. 334 00:12:18,772 --> 00:12:20,240 Follow me. 335 00:12:20,340 --> 00:12:22,242 Two words, indoor plumbing. 336 00:12:25,612 --> 00:12:26,814 Let's hope the door's unlocked. 337 00:12:30,317 --> 00:12:31,384 Nice work, chief. 338 00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:39,026 I cannot believe people treat the forest as their own 339 00:12:39,126 --> 00:12:41,094 personal garbage dump. 340 00:12:41,194 --> 00:12:45,432 And I can't believe people throw SandM parties up here. 341 00:12:45,532 --> 00:12:47,067 We Bellow's may be nature killers, 342 00:12:47,167 --> 00:12:50,337 but we draw the line at littering. 343 00:12:50,437 --> 00:12:52,472 How about drawing the line at air conditioning 344 00:12:52,572 --> 00:12:54,808 the entire planet? - No! 345 00:12:54,908 --> 00:12:55,809 [sighs] 346 00:12:55,909 --> 00:12:56,877 Please tell me we're not locked out. 347 00:12:56,977 --> 00:12:57,777 Oh! 348 00:12:57,878 --> 00:12:59,947 Damn. 349 00:13:00,047 --> 00:13:03,150 I will officially follow you anywhere. 350 00:13:03,250 --> 00:13:05,785 Well, I'll take the blame for almost getting us killed, 351 00:13:05,886 --> 00:13:07,988 but I get the credit for this one. 352 00:13:08,088 --> 00:13:11,158 Clean feet in exchange for almost getting shot? 353 00:13:11,258 --> 00:13:13,360 Totally worth it. 354 00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:16,129 Well, these feet aren't going to re-dirty themselves. 355 00:13:16,229 --> 00:13:17,831 Let's hit that kegger! 356 00:13:17,931 --> 00:13:19,900 After you. 357 00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:21,835 [door rattles] 358 00:13:21,935 --> 00:13:23,736 [groans] 359 00:13:23,837 --> 00:13:25,072 Nice going. 360 00:13:25,172 --> 00:13:26,139 Nice going. 361 00:13:26,239 --> 00:13:27,074 I'm sorry. 362 00:13:27,174 --> 00:13:29,642 It's OK, I'm sure Ben has the key. 363 00:13:29,742 --> 00:13:30,543 Oh. 364 00:13:30,643 --> 00:13:31,912 - Hey. - Hey. 365 00:13:32,012 --> 00:13:33,246 Welcome back. How was the walk? 366 00:13:33,346 --> 00:13:34,147 Magical. 367 00:13:34,247 --> 00:13:35,415 Horrifying. 368 00:13:35,515 --> 00:13:37,885 We saw a deer right up there on the top of the hill. 369 00:13:37,985 --> 00:13:38,785 Antlers? 370 00:13:38,886 --> 00:13:40,620 Yeah, you saw the same one? 371 00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:42,489 Wasn't it magnificent? 372 00:13:42,589 --> 00:13:43,390 And heavy. 373 00:13:43,490 --> 00:13:44,958 Ben? 374 00:13:45,058 --> 00:13:45,859 Do you have the key? 375 00:13:45,959 --> 00:13:47,360 Yep. 376 00:13:47,460 --> 00:13:48,528 Phil? 377 00:13:48,628 --> 00:13:49,963 What happened to our tent? 378 00:13:53,967 --> 00:13:56,136 JESSIE: Do you have anything else? 379 00:13:56,236 --> 00:13:57,938 My dad's spare key to the RV. 380 00:13:58,038 --> 00:13:59,439 Try picking the lock with that. 381 00:13:59,539 --> 00:14:01,674 You can't pick a lock with another key. 382 00:14:01,774 --> 00:14:03,877 That's just trying to unlock a door with the wrong key. 383 00:14:03,977 --> 00:14:04,777 See. 384 00:14:07,647 --> 00:14:08,949 [tom sighs] 385 00:14:09,049 --> 00:14:11,784 [rock music] 386 00:14:11,885 --> 00:14:14,888 Do you hear something? 387 00:14:14,988 --> 00:14:17,090 The kegger. 388 00:14:17,190 --> 00:14:18,025 I hate Carter. 389 00:14:22,963 --> 00:14:23,997 A gustnado? 390 00:14:24,097 --> 00:14:25,098 Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. 391 00:14:25,198 --> 00:14:27,534 Must have taken the tent in one fell swoop. 392 00:14:27,634 --> 00:14:29,069 You know, in fact, there's some debate as to 393 00:14:29,169 --> 00:14:33,240 whether or not a gustnado is not actually a mini tornado. 394 00:14:33,340 --> 00:14:34,807 Of course, it could also have been a bear. 395 00:14:34,908 --> 00:14:36,376 Bear. 396 00:14:36,476 --> 00:14:38,845 Somebody always has to say bear. 397 00:14:43,316 --> 00:14:44,117 PHIL: It's nice up here. 398 00:14:47,020 --> 00:14:49,789 JESSIE: I wonder who put bars on these windows. 399 00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:51,424 I wonder who will find our bodies. 400 00:14:51,524 --> 00:14:52,960 I wonder who will go first. 401 00:14:53,060 --> 00:14:54,627 Well, if it's me, I give you permission 402 00:14:54,727 --> 00:14:56,363 to eat my cold, dead flesh. 403 00:14:56,463 --> 00:14:57,764 Thanks. 404 00:14:57,864 --> 00:15:00,533 I think. 405 00:15:00,633 --> 00:15:02,069 And if you go first? 406 00:15:05,005 --> 00:15:06,906 You don't want me to eat you because you blame me for this. 407 00:15:07,007 --> 00:15:08,741 No, no, it's not your fault. I just, 408 00:15:08,841 --> 00:15:10,944 I want to leave a tidy corpse. 409 00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:15,382 I'm sorry if I'm too bossy. 410 00:15:15,482 --> 00:15:17,184 You're not bossy. 411 00:15:17,284 --> 00:15:19,319 You know what you like, you chase after it, 412 00:15:19,419 --> 00:15:21,521 and then, you kill it with a stick. 413 00:15:21,621 --> 00:15:25,058 Yeah, and then I bring it home and I share it with you. 414 00:15:25,158 --> 00:15:26,559 We work the way we are. 415 00:15:26,659 --> 00:15:28,028 I miss wimpy Tom. 416 00:15:28,128 --> 00:15:30,630 I miss bossy Jessie. 417 00:15:30,730 --> 00:15:32,865 Although, I don't miss being called wimpy Tom. 418 00:15:32,966 --> 00:15:34,801 [laughs] 419 00:15:35,835 --> 00:15:37,504 I hope the kids are having fun. 420 00:15:37,604 --> 00:15:38,771 I hope they're dead. 421 00:15:38,871 --> 00:15:40,940 Or at least out of hand sanitizer. 422 00:15:41,041 --> 00:15:42,709 This was supposed to be a family camping trip, not 423 00:15:42,809 --> 00:15:45,378 a bad episode of Survivor. - Ben! 424 00:15:45,478 --> 00:15:48,315 There wasn't a bad episode of Survivor. 425 00:15:48,415 --> 00:15:50,317 I'm sorry, you know, I guess I'm feeling a little hurt. 426 00:15:50,417 --> 00:15:52,685 They dropped us like a hot potato. 427 00:15:52,785 --> 00:15:55,588 I'm sorry Ben didn't let us smash the window. 428 00:15:55,688 --> 00:15:58,725 I'm sorry that you guys won't stop talking. 429 00:15:58,825 --> 00:16:04,564 Just look at all those stars. 430 00:16:04,664 --> 00:16:07,934 I feel so insignificant. 431 00:16:08,035 --> 00:16:10,770 I love being part of the bigger picture. 432 00:16:10,870 --> 00:16:12,372 Well, stars last the millennia, 433 00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:15,008 and we're gone in the blink of an eye. 434 00:16:20,413 --> 00:16:24,451 Yeah, screw the stars, I miss the kids. 435 00:16:24,551 --> 00:16:26,219 Once they're gone, what have we got? 436 00:16:26,319 --> 00:16:28,321 Indigestion? 437 00:16:28,421 --> 00:16:29,222 I rest my case. 438 00:16:34,461 --> 00:16:37,764 [gentle music] 439 00:16:39,799 --> 00:16:41,601 JESSIE: It's morning. 440 00:16:41,701 --> 00:16:43,836 Now what do we do? 441 00:16:43,936 --> 00:16:44,904 We've got to get to that vent. 442 00:16:47,907 --> 00:16:50,343 [tom groans] - Come on, Tom. 443 00:16:50,443 --> 00:16:53,346 Who was the queen of sixth-grade gymnastics? 444 00:16:53,446 --> 00:16:56,983 That rope won't even hold you. 445 00:16:57,084 --> 00:16:59,919 Team work. 446 00:17:00,019 --> 00:17:02,389 [tom groans] 447 00:17:02,489 --> 00:17:04,357 Oh, oh. 448 00:17:04,457 --> 00:17:05,325 [jessie yells] 449 00:17:05,425 --> 00:17:07,760 I'm falling! 450 00:17:07,860 --> 00:17:10,230 The handle broke. 451 00:17:10,330 --> 00:17:14,134 [energetic music] 452 00:17:19,139 --> 00:17:20,006 [jessie gasps] 453 00:17:20,107 --> 00:17:21,974 [tom laughs] 454 00:17:22,075 --> 00:17:24,010 [jessie laughs] 455 00:17:24,111 --> 00:17:25,245 Whoa! 456 00:17:25,345 --> 00:17:27,680 Oh, God. 457 00:17:27,780 --> 00:17:30,317 It is so beautiful out here. 458 00:17:30,417 --> 00:17:36,889 Fresh air, trees, the tent! 459 00:17:36,989 --> 00:17:39,459 Oh, yeah, underneath the bushes. 460 00:17:39,559 --> 00:17:40,593 Right there. 461 00:17:40,693 --> 00:17:42,395 No, no, no, that couldn't be, couldn't be. 462 00:17:42,495 --> 00:17:43,463 The wind was too strong. 463 00:17:43,563 --> 00:17:44,664 - I think it's probably-- - What? 464 00:17:44,764 --> 00:17:45,565 Ben? 465 00:17:48,268 --> 00:17:49,736 [laughs nervously] 466 00:17:49,836 --> 00:17:51,838 Judith? 467 00:17:51,938 --> 00:17:55,742 There's no easy way to say this. 468 00:17:55,842 --> 00:17:57,544 Phil killed a deer. 469 00:17:57,644 --> 00:17:58,511 What? 470 00:17:58,611 --> 00:18:00,347 It wasn't me, per se. 471 00:18:00,447 --> 00:18:02,349 It ate one too many veggie dogs. 472 00:18:02,449 --> 00:18:04,050 [judith sighs] 473 00:18:04,151 --> 00:18:05,084 We killed another one. 474 00:18:05,185 --> 00:18:06,619 No, honey, technically, you could 475 00:18:06,719 --> 00:18:08,588 hang this on the entire vegetarian movement. 476 00:18:08,688 --> 00:18:10,757 It is a compelling argument for going back to meat. 477 00:18:10,857 --> 00:18:12,559 - Don't. - I have to see it. 478 00:18:12,659 --> 00:18:13,493 What? 479 00:18:13,593 --> 00:18:14,894 No, no, honey. - Judith, Judith. 480 00:18:14,994 --> 00:18:16,062 Honey, it's all maggoty, and-- 481 00:18:16,163 --> 00:18:17,430 [judith scoffs] 482 00:18:17,530 --> 00:18:19,432 I can't believe you killed a deer. 483 00:18:19,532 --> 00:18:21,934 OK. 484 00:18:22,034 --> 00:18:25,238 What I don't get is, why did you wrap it in our tent? 485 00:18:25,338 --> 00:18:27,740 'Cause I didn't want Judith to see the body, 486 00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:28,641 given our history. 487 00:18:28,741 --> 00:18:30,377 You mean the curse? 488 00:18:30,477 --> 00:18:32,345 Are you sure you want to do this? 489 00:18:32,445 --> 00:18:33,246 I have to face the fear. 490 00:18:43,756 --> 00:18:46,125 It's gone. 491 00:18:46,226 --> 00:18:48,861 You see, it's our differences that make us work. 492 00:18:48,961 --> 00:18:50,763 We are like salt and pepper, my dad's 493 00:18:50,863 --> 00:18:53,032 tacos and anti-acid tablets. 494 00:18:53,132 --> 00:18:54,367 I get it. 495 00:18:54,467 --> 00:18:56,569 We are who we are, and even though the rest of the world 496 00:18:56,669 --> 00:18:58,938 doesn't value my ability to follow blindly, 497 00:18:59,038 --> 00:19:02,575 you do, and that's what counts. 498 00:19:02,675 --> 00:19:04,277 I've been here before. 499 00:19:04,377 --> 00:19:06,179 I think this is where my dad killed the deer. 500 00:19:06,279 --> 00:19:07,214 Your dad killed a deer? 501 00:19:07,314 --> 00:19:08,448 I've never told you that story before? 502 00:19:08,548 --> 00:19:10,550 Oh, I definitely have to tell you that story. 503 00:19:10,650 --> 00:19:13,586 It really helps explain my mom, a lot. 504 00:19:13,686 --> 00:19:15,087 Tom, look! 505 00:19:18,625 --> 00:19:21,628 I remember that. 506 00:19:21,728 --> 00:19:23,363 I carved it on our last camping trip. 507 00:19:23,463 --> 00:19:27,734 It must have been about five years ago, before we hooked up. 508 00:19:27,834 --> 00:19:30,537 That was a very good decision. 509 00:19:30,637 --> 00:19:32,004 More like a pathetic wish. 510 00:19:32,104 --> 00:19:33,673 Which came true, which means you 511 00:19:33,773 --> 00:19:38,545 got the ball rolling on this, and us, and everything. 512 00:19:38,645 --> 00:19:40,413 [jessie giggles] 513 00:19:45,218 --> 00:19:47,520 It's as if it got up and walked away. 514 00:19:47,620 --> 00:19:49,822 Like some sort of Jesus deer. 515 00:19:49,922 --> 00:19:51,758 PARK RANGER: Good morning, folks. 516 00:19:51,858 --> 00:19:54,527 I've been tracking a tranquilized deer, 517 00:19:54,627 --> 00:19:58,398 and my system says he's bunked right here with you folks. 518 00:19:58,498 --> 00:19:59,299 [tara gasps] 519 00:19:59,399 --> 00:20:00,367 TARA: Oh, my God. 520 00:20:00,467 --> 00:20:02,535 You say you shot it with a tranquilizer? 521 00:20:02,635 --> 00:20:04,937 Overpopulation relocation program. 522 00:20:05,037 --> 00:20:07,607 This place is lousy with deer. 523 00:20:07,707 --> 00:20:10,443 Hey, I found this yesterday. 524 00:20:10,543 --> 00:20:12,011 Yeah, miles and miles from here. 525 00:20:12,111 --> 00:20:14,514 Yeah, an entirely different part of the park. 526 00:20:14,614 --> 00:20:18,551 Over where the Satanists are having the kegger for Satan. 527 00:20:18,651 --> 00:20:20,653 Yeah, I heard about that. 528 00:20:20,753 --> 00:20:21,888 Sorry to bother you. 529 00:20:21,988 --> 00:20:22,989 No problem. 530 00:20:23,089 --> 00:20:23,856 Bye. 531 00:20:26,158 --> 00:20:27,026 [everyone laughs] 532 00:20:27,126 --> 00:20:28,461 BEN: Shh. 533 00:20:28,561 --> 00:20:30,397 Shh. 534 00:20:30,497 --> 00:20:33,032 Well, if this is life without kids, it sure as hell 535 00:20:33,132 --> 00:20:34,066 won't be boring. 536 00:20:34,166 --> 00:20:35,968 Maybe we'll survive after all, huh? 537 00:20:36,068 --> 00:20:39,071 Oh, amen to that. 538 00:20:39,171 --> 00:20:39,972 MAN: Woo-hoo! 539 00:20:44,010 --> 00:20:44,977 Woo-hoo! 540 00:20:45,077 --> 00:20:47,347 I guess the kegger is still happening. 541 00:20:47,447 --> 00:20:49,816 Probably just a couple of hardcore partiers, 542 00:20:49,916 --> 00:20:51,418 and random naked guy. 543 00:20:51,518 --> 00:20:54,421 MAN: Woo-hoo! 544 00:20:54,521 --> 00:20:57,424 We should go. 545 00:20:57,524 --> 00:20:58,425 Good decision. 546 00:21:01,528 --> 00:21:03,930 [lively music] 547 00:21:04,030 --> 00:21:06,699 Let me guess, you guys ran into Satanists? 548 00:21:06,799 --> 00:21:08,234 Something like that. 549 00:21:08,335 --> 00:21:09,969 Hey, um, muchacho, do you happen 550 00:21:10,069 --> 00:21:11,638 to have the spare RV key? 551 00:21:11,738 --> 00:21:12,772 We've been locked out all night. 552 00:21:12,872 --> 00:21:13,673 Oh, my God. 553 00:21:13,773 --> 00:21:15,007 Mom, are you OK? 554 00:21:15,107 --> 00:21:16,208 I am. 555 00:21:16,309 --> 00:21:18,210 But you can cook lunch, and dinner. 556 00:21:18,311 --> 00:21:19,111 You should make-- 557 00:21:19,211 --> 00:21:20,913 Tofu dogs. Coming right up. 558 00:21:21,013 --> 00:21:22,715 Stick with grilled cheese. 559 00:21:22,815 --> 00:21:23,616 Long story. 560 00:21:26,285 --> 00:21:28,321 So was it a romantic night after all? 561 00:21:28,421 --> 00:21:30,557 It was the most romantic night ever. 562 00:21:30,657 --> 00:21:32,359 And a strangely satisfying morning. 563 00:21:32,459 --> 00:21:34,026 Should we go back for him? 564 00:21:34,126 --> 00:21:34,927 After lunch. 565 00:21:38,498 --> 00:21:40,433 Tom? 566 00:21:40,533 --> 00:21:41,768 Jessie! 567 00:21:41,868 --> 00:21:45,405 OK, OK, I, I'm sorry for what I said. 568 00:21:45,505 --> 00:21:48,575 You guys work so well together. 569 00:21:48,675 --> 00:21:51,177 Oh, come on! 570 00:21:51,277 --> 00:21:52,144 I have to pee. 571 00:21:52,244 --> 00:21:53,346 [MUSIC - SWEET THING, "KITE FIGHT"] 572 00:21:53,446 --> 00:21:56,349 (SINGING) They say you to fight through the night. 573 00:21:56,449 --> 00:21:59,018 Ooh. 574 00:21:59,118 --> 00:22:01,721 They say you like it fight, let's go outside. 575 00:22:01,821 --> 00:22:02,622 Ooh. 576 00:22:11,431 --> 00:22:14,033 Da-da-da-, da-da-da, da-da-da-, da-da-da, 577 00:22:14,133 --> 00:22:17,036 da-da-da, da-da-da, da-da-da, da-da-da, 578 00:22:17,136 --> 00:22:20,072 da-da-da, da-da-da, da-da-da. 579 00:22:20,122 --> 00:22:24,672 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0